So enough of the fluff…..haha….lets see if I can get back to business…..and get re-inspired……
I’ve been thinking about my last post about how I am perceived by others and I said that I was the one “surprised” because I am who I say I am and the comment I received was beautiful….I have printed it out and keep it close by to come back to. I love what Danielle wrote…. who I would like to add is my mom 🙂 . I love you and ….all your eccentric ways because if it was not for you I would not have this ability to search to question and learn and to evolve in life….to be who I am and who I aspire to be ….so thank you.
When I wrote that I was the one “surprised” I was actually pleased in a way that no one had anything to say because to me that told me that I really do live as I say…. I don’t have any pretense and every one can take me at face value….and that pleases me because I have always tried to be honest and true to myself as well as to others….although since then I have had several comments about it…of course after the fact ….but hey better late then never …..haha…. one was they were surprised that I like so many different types of music from Kesha-AC/DC-to Dolly Parton -Taylor Swift ……but the way I see it is it doesn’t matter what the genre because if it’s good it’s good ……maybe it’s because I think I can see beauty in just about anything …..I can see the good in everyone and everything…..as well as a purpose in all those things…..
now someone else told me that they were surprised to learn recently that I am a bit of a perfectionist (a little OCD) on some things …lol…but you see they were not the only ones surprised on that one I have always known on some aspect about how some things I like done a certain way but I can always take a deep breath and let it be….I have always been able to work through it I’m happy to say ….but I had a revelation a couple of weeks ago at work …..we are in the process of doing an overhaul on the way we do things at work because we can sometimes get sooooo busy that I feel like I am a chicken with her head cut off….haha…..so the Human Resource girl is doing some of the tedious work like creating work sheets and such for us now…..and when she first started doing this I didn’t complain about any of it because I truly do appreciate the help…lol…. but it didn’t take long before I just couldn’t deal with the little imperfections of the papers ….things like the pages not being centered or crooked when photocopied….it got to the point that I could not look at the pages!!!!……boy did that open my eyes then I looked into my self to see where else this has affected my life and that is when I had my revelation ….no wonder I have such a hard time getting my work done I spent so much time doubting my work…… and I keep going back until it’s perfect…….it was like WOW I get it ….really I do!!!…..I love when that happens because now I can do something about it I can fix my little crooked lines now that I see them…lol….Because you know I am a perfectionist ….I have to fix it …..lol….but I can also see the humor in the fact that I feel the need to fix it …..to fix me….witch is quite silly really because their is not such thing as perfection …..I am the first one to admit it….haha….
Now this brings me back to this revelation…..now that I see this and I accept the fact that I have this issue with perfection I can see the good and bad of it …..
for one thing I am dedicated in giving my best and giving my all and that I don’t do anything I put my mind to with half a heart ….but because of it I can also see that if left unchecked it could become a serious issue and could set me back.
now one more thing that I think was a surprise to my kids was my hair (yet they never really commented on it)…..when I was a teenager I would change my hair probably as often as someone would change their cloths……haha….it really sucked when it got so short that I would have to let it grow before I would be able to cut it again but even the growing process would change it again. When I started having kids I stopped getting my hair done all the time….. one reason was my partner didn’t like short hair and then I was more concerned about spending my money on more important things…..Then I hit 30!! oh boy was that a wake up call….my kids had Funky hair day at school and I had so much fun doing their hair that morning and then that afternoon I went out and got my hair done when they got home from school my oldest ,who was 6 at the time looked at me and said ……”um mom it was funky hair day for us….not you ?”….hahaha….I came home with orange and yellow hair is what she called it ….haha….I called it copper and blond …..and since then I’ve gone red …..and purple …..haha….maybe it will be pink or blue next. or even short again…..haha (although I think now my oldest may not want to be seen with me if I do go pink or blue)…haha…because she says I’m weird….haha.
as my mom said “We are Life expressing itself in our each unique way”
and That is how My Life Becomes Me.