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Remember to smile……Because you can!

What makes you smile like nothing else?
I think this is an amazing question don’t you?
I’ve sat on this question for a while now because I wasn’t sure how to answer it, I had so many answers and couldn’t decide which one of the many things that make me smile actually make me smile like nothing else can…..

  • Many things can make me smile, some just little things like laying down to the smell of freshly cleaned sheets right out of the dryer…..
  • The first bite of my favorite dish (when I get it right)  haha……
  • When a great song comes on the radio……
  • Watching my kids accomplish something they have worked on…..
  • Seeing the look on my children’s face Christmas Morning because Santa came…..

After I thought about all the things that make me smile ……I realized the one thing that makes me smile like nothing else is the feeling of LOVE …..

The love from another given freely with nothing to gain …..that feeling that you get when you can feel the others love for no other reason than for who you are …….The love you give to another because they are worth it …That is what makes me smile like nothing else can …..

My 8-year-old reminded me of this yesterday morning when she saw that after asking for 3 years in a row for a stuffed Jaguar teddy…..Santa finely came through and although none of his elves could find one anywhere nor could they make one …..Santa hunted down some material that looked as much like a Jaguar as he could and made one just for her …..and it has not left her side since……even though it is the most pitiful looking cat I have ever seen …haha…it probably should have been left to the elves….haha…But Santa worked very long hours on this cat I’m positive of that…..and when she saw it…….. that little spark that was starting to fade came back in her eyes and her belief in Santa was restored ….which moved my 2 older children and the magic of the real meaning of Christmas was back ……because its all about the love not the presents…..it’s all about the little things……

and I get the privilege of seeing that kind of love everyday….and every time my children hug me …..every time my I hear my children laugh ……every time I see Dorito the Jag(his new name) haha….get squeezed with love ( I sure hope he makes it through the year…..good thing Mom owns a sewing kit…..haha….

Dorito the Jaguar

This is how My life Becomes Me…..

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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No more Fluff !!

So enough of the fluff…..haha….lets see if I can get back to business…..and get re-inspired……

I’ve been thinking about my last post about how I am perceived by others and I said that I was the one “surprised” because I am who I say I am and the comment I received was beautiful….I have printed it out and keep it close by to come back to. I love what Danielle wrote…. who I would like to add is my mom 🙂 . I love you and ….all your eccentric ways because if it was not for you I would not have this ability to search to question and learn and to evolve in life….to be who I am and who I aspire to be ….so thank you.

When I wrote that I was the one “surprised” I was actually pleased in a way that no one had anything to say because to me that told me that I really do live as I say…. I don’t have any pretense and every one can take me at face value….and that pleases me because I have always tried to be honest and true to myself as well as to others….although since then I have had several comments about it…of course after the fact ….but hey better late then never …..haha…. one was they were surprised that I like so many different types  of music from Kesha-AC/DC-to Dolly Parton -Taylor Swift ……but the way I see it is it doesn’t matter what the genre because if it’s good it’s good ……maybe it’s because I think I can see beauty in just about anything …..I can see the good in everyone and everything…..as well as a purpose in all those things…..

now someone else told me that they were surprised to learn recently that I am a bit of a perfectionist (a little OCD) on some things …lol…but you see they were not the only ones surprised on that one I have always known on some aspect about how some things I like done a certain way but I can always take a deep breath and let it be….I have always been able to work through it I’m happy to say ….but I had a revelation a couple of weeks ago at work …..we are in the process of doing an overhaul on the way we do things at work because we can sometimes get sooooo busy that I feel like I am a chicken with her head cut off….haha…..so  the Human Resource girl is doing some of the tedious work like creating work sheets and such for us now…..and when she first started doing this I didn’t complain about any of it because I truly do appreciate the help…lol…. but it didn’t take long before I just couldn’t deal with the little imperfections of the papers ….things like the pages not being centered or crooked when photocopied….it got to the point that I could not look at the pages!!!!……boy did that open my eyes then I looked into my self to see where else this has affected my life and that is when I had my revelation ….no wonder I have such a hard time getting my work done I spent so much time doubting my work…… and I keep going back until it’s perfect…….it was like WOW I get it ….really I do!!!…..I love when that happens because now I can do something about it  I can fix my little crooked lines now that I see them…lol….Because you know I am a perfectionist ….I have to fix it …..lol….but I can also see the humor in the fact that I feel the need to fix it …..to fix me….witch is quite silly really because their is not such thing as perfection …..I am the first one to admit it….haha….

Now this brings me back to this revelation…..now that I see this and I accept the fact that I have this issue with perfection  I can see the good and bad of it …..

for one thing I am dedicated in giving my best and giving my all and that I don’t do anything I put my mind to with half a heart ….but because of it I can also see that if left unchecked it could become a serious issue and could set me back.

now one more thing that I think was a surprise to my kids was my hair (yet they never really commented on it)…..when I was a teenager I would change my hair probably as often as someone would change their cloths……haha….it really sucked when it got so short that I would have to let it grow before I would be able to cut it again but even the growing process would change it again. When I started having kids I stopped getting my hair done all the time….. one reason was my partner didn’t like short hair and then I was more concerned about spending my money on more important things…..Then I hit 30!! oh boy was that a wake up call….my kids had Funky hair day at school and I had so much fun doing their hair that morning and then that afternoon I went out and got my hair done when they got home from school my oldest ,who was 6 at the time looked at me and said ……”um mom it was funky hair day for us….not you ?”….hahaha….I came home with orange and yellow hair is what she called it ….haha….I called it copper and blond …..and since then I’ve gone red …..and purple …..haha….maybe it will be pink or blue next. or even short again…..haha (although I think now my oldest may not want to be seen with me if I do go pink or blue)…haha…because she says I’m weird….haha.

as my mom said “We are Life expressing itself in our each unique way”

and That is how My Life Becomes Me.

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Favorite Sounds

Happiness

Image via Wikipedia

What are my favorite sounds? ……

You would think this would be a simple question wouldn’t you …….but I look at this question and hear so many sounds and wonder which ones are my favorite?

  • The sound of the birds chirping at 4 in the morning …
  • The sound of rain hitting a steel roof….
  • The sound of a thunderstorm…..
  • The sound of Ravens cooing….
  • The sound of silence….
  • The sound of the one you love sleeping next to you ….
  • The sound of beautiful music…..

I could go on and on about my favorite sounds….

I think MY one sound I love to hear more than others is the sound of a baby’s laugh…..

Isn’t it the most beautiful sound in the world? When you hear a baby laugh it put’s a smile on everyone’s face who hears it ……I know it puts one on my face every time….. it makes my heart smile…..haha

I remember I had read somewhere that a child should laugh at least 1000 times each and everyday so I as a young new mom had made this my goal ….. my baby was going to laugh and laugh lots… 1000 times a day (wasn’t sure how I was going to count them though) but that was what I was going to do ……. My mother-in-law told me once (only once) that I was spoiling my baby. I on the other hand explained to her how I did not believe that you can spoil children with love….I would also like to note that when my partner and I think back on our time at home with our first-born I remember my first baby girl as the perfect baby that she was …she was happy all the time and laughing/smiling and never cried and yet when I went back to work and my partner had to stay home with her he remembers crying and lots of it for the six months he was home with her ….huh!!…imagen…. just an observation on my part of course …haha…….and to this day I have never smelled one bit of spoiling on any of my children…haha

Now when I look back at my 3rd child however….that laughter is something that I had taken for granted with the first two…Those of you who have had a child with colic will truly understand how beautiful the sound of laughter is ….I’m not trying to take away the enjoyment from those of you who have not had the wonderful luxury of having such a child, so that you could really learn and appreciate the things that you took for granted before you had such a child like laughter and sleep and sanity…… I think back and remember the frustration during those 9 months of HELL! …..and then realize that if I had never lived through that pain and anguish of listening to my child cry 24/7 …and the feeling of how I couldn’t fix what ever it is that was making her cry….that I was scared (and this was my 3rd child ….I should know what I’m doing by now!!!) that I was going absolutely crazy and may lose my mind at any given moment !!!… Without all that I may never have been able to appreciate the beauty of that baby’s laugh the way I do now …lol..

I remember so well the precise moment it happened….when I fell in love with my baby’s laugh …..I was sitting in my rocking chair my baby girl in my lap with her back to me ,I was rubbing her back trying to burp her after nursing and I leaned down and gave her a “zerbert” as Bill Cosby used to call it …haha…which is something that I had tried many times before because my 2 older children had loved it (and still do) and for what ever reason that I have never understood this time she finely laughed …..And I cried!!…..I’m sure that if anyone looking in the window probably thought I had finely lost my mind …haha… All because she laughed for the very first time and it was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard..That was the sound that I had been missing in my life…

To this day when I hear a baby laugh it always brings me back to that day and that moment…..

I think back now…. if I had been able to see the importance of what I was learning during that time it may have made it easer to bear ….but then again maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had? Maybe I wouldn’t see the things the way I do now?

This road I’m traveling has definitely had its share of pot holes …and slowly I’m filling each and every one of them as I learn what they need to be filled with …because each one has been made with something different….

And this is how My Life Becomes Me.

 
 

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I am MOM hear me Roar

Once you become a mom…….even if you lose your self one day and find your self the next you are and will always be a mom……no matter how much you need that break from that day-to-day life…….and never will there be anything better than being a mom….Being a mom is more than making lunches playing games or teaching them right from wrong or even tucking them in at night …..it’s also about the feelings they can inspire in you from pulling your hair out feelings to catch your breath ah-ha! moments…..boy do I love those moments 🙂 they are the best aren’t they …lol

there are sooo many things children can do to your body and I’m not just talking about stretch marks….lol…and all of them wonderful in their own way all because they wrap their tiny hand around your finger that first time…..it’s amazing how you forget everything else after that moment. being a mom is all about those moments.

One of my most memorial pull your hair and can’t breathe moments was my first-born first day of school….I remember standing at the bus stop and sending her off for that first time and thinking this is it my baby is all grown up …haha… what a thought at the ripe old age of 4 1/2 all grown up…she was so excited she couldn’t wait to start school and to this day she was the most excited out of the 3 of my children.

I remember the tears rolling down my cheeks and her father making fun of me because all I could think about was my fears of her not being on the bus at the end of the day …..I remember having nightmares for a week before school started and in my dream I’m standing there and the doors of the bus open and all the children come off the bus but not my daughter ……I think that for me it was a heart stopping feeling these fears of her not getting off that bus….but I know that they are only the irrational fears of a first time mom so I calm down and start my day at work…..

At the end of the day I stand at the bus stop waiting and there it is that beautiful yellow school bus …and I’m standing there with the video camera ….the doors open …..the kids start piling out ……and there it is My Daughter is NOT on the bus…..my head starts spinning I can’t breathe and all rational thought goes out the window …lol my brain completely stops working now I live in a very small town the bus driver tells me to get on the bus and he will take me back to the school …so I hop on !!!! duh!!! …..for future reference if this ever happens to you DO NOT GET ON THE BUS ……drive yourself it will be much quicker…..the bus driver still had to make the rest of his stops…you know so the rest of those parents out there don’t have heart attacks because their children didn’t come home…lol

remember I lost my mind …haha…..as we pull up to my child’s school I see standing outside the front doors my daughters teacher and there holding her hand is my beautiful little girl….i had never seen such a beautiful sight as the bus driver opens the doors and I step down off the bus I held out my arms with tears rolling down my cheeks and my all grown up little girl runs into my arms and she look at me and says

Mommy YOU get to ride the bus too!!!

and I started laughing so hard…..little did she know the fear I had just gone through all because the school couldn’t remember what bus to put her on….. but to my little girl it was just the coolest thing that her mommy came on the bus to pick her up from school …..

Today I had another one of those moments the kind that I will remember every detail of.

I watched my son he is my middle child (and yes the middle child syndrome is true..lol) in his last indoor soccer game (I live in the Northwest Territories so indoor soccer is what we play for most of the year). I watched on the edge of my seat by the way…..one of the most intense games of the season I thought about how they played back in the beginning and admired how they have really grown as a team….I was proud to watch my son the way he handled him self with every game lost and every game won…..I was impressed by the maturity level of these 9-11 yr olds….they didn’t brag or gloat about the win just so they wouldn’t make the other team feel bad and when they were done my son comes to me and says I don’t think we should have won but the ref wouldn’t listen to us I think the goalie had the ball…..right at that moment was my wow!! moment my son who by the way is very competitive and wont play board games because he hates to lose and if he doesn’t get to play his way will end the game….has just told me that HE doesn’t think that they should have won that the game (which was in overtime) was not over he feels like the other team was cheated out of their shot at the Bronze medal (they were playing for 3rd place)….so there it is…. my wow!! moment… he really gets it !!!!

I am MOM hear me roar…haha……yes these moments that’s what it’s all about.

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2011 in life, Uncategorized

 

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