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Inspiration

Inspiration

I have not been inspired to write in a very long time …mainly because I have been using my creativity for other things ….like work ūüôā
Today however I have been inspired by my son.
I was watching my sons soccer game this afternoon and a wave of emotions overcame me, so much so that I was brought to tears …(which I wiped away really really fast!!…I could hear my oldest saying are you crying? Your such a sap mom!)…..haha….ya well I’m a mom!!

What brought this on …I am not sure maybe guilt about only being able to watch the last game of 4 these past 2 days or maybe because his father had the opportunity to watch all his games but chose not to….and I felt a little green with envy that I didn’t have that opportunity….. and knowing that he had been at this soccer field all day and not knowing if his dad had made sure he had food and water for the day because he had spent the week with him and of course partly because I have missed him …..
With all these thoughts going through my head ….I’m watching an amazing game and my son is doing an amazing job at defending his team, I was informed that he has already won MVP and as I watch I hear him apologize to a player on the other team for shoving him to hard….my heart as his mother swells just a little knowing how I have tried to teach him compassion and respect for others and that my 14 year old sons favourite pastime is to show me how little of those qualities he has (but as his mom I know better)…haha….and MY SON the one that I have always known and the side he tries to hide from me shows up and I know in the end I’ve done good…I’ve done something right along my road of wrongs….it was my AHA! moment
Of the day …possibly the week ….but it was there ….I saw it an I am proud…..because it’s not about how good his grades are or how good he is at sports …..it’s about how good he makes others feel! Today my heart was full ūüėÄ

And that is how My Life Becomes ME! xo

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2014 in life, Uncategorized

 

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Oh Canada…..Day 2

Sometimes I can think of really witty things to keep this going sometimes not so much….haha

Day 2…….I think day 2 wanted to give day one a run for her money!!

Wake up feeling down about the accident…..go for breakfast and relax while we wait for the Jeep to be fixed…I take the kids to the pool again while my partner goes out and tries to fix the lights on his truck and now the lights on the boat.
it’s freezing outside (-)something ridiculous I go out to see if I can help with anything….mention he needs to eat, so he says he will go out to check on the jeep and pick up food on the way back.

He decided to take our dog Bella with him to get her out of the room…..and yes this is the same dog that almost dove to her death in the Mackenzie river the day before, about an hour later my phone rings and I see that it’s my partner…I’m excited maybe the jeep is ready and we can head out today!
I pick up and he starts yelling at me to bring him the truck keys now…..I have to walk to the A&W because the dog has locked him out of the Truck and the Truck is running!…..HAHA….OK he is not finding this so funny so I tell the kids I’ll be back in about 30 min….with food.
I start walking in (-)ridiculous temp to unlock the truck doors….I arrive and he is yelling at the dog to stop jumping around….our food is getting destroyed….and he wonders why the dog doesn’t care….I’m just thinking that this is so not going to make this day any better and hopefully the jeep will be ready soon…..

Nope…..looks like we are staying another night and so far day 2 was not all that great!…..however it did not win over day one I think!
kids are quiet and not bickering and my Partner looks like he is about to blow his top….I try to make light of everything and crack some jokes but no one has a sense of humor today….

New tranny line new day….Jeep will be ready in the morning.
Day 3 here we come!

This is how My Life Becomes Me….

 
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Posted by on November 4, 2013 in Change, Travel

 

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Day 1…..The Departure

Loaded and ready to go!……I however am a coffee addict….an addiction I acknowledge and accept because it’s my last crutch, I only drink alcohol maybe twice a year and I quit smoking 9 years this coming September…and well I like my coffee and I’m OK with not being able to function without it…however our Tim Horton in town does not open till 7 am and my partner will not wait for it to open so my brain can start to function …so away we go!!

6:45 am October 31st 2012 The kids are loaded up its (-20 something)…My partner ,son and dog are in the pick-up. The girls and the EVERYTHING else is in the Jeep with me…the girls can’t even touch the ground with their feet we are so jammed packed…I’m thinking we are a little to jam-packed but I have elbow room and all the sleeping bags and blankets are keeping everything hard from hurting us if anything were to start to fall so all is good.

so off we go as we drive out-of-town and I stare longingly at Tim’s thinking I can make it the 3.5 hours to fort providence to fill up on fuel of all kinds….my brain can work ..I know it can …it’s worth the wait if it means getting a good start home!

I spend the next x amount of hours using up the battery on my iPod listing to music because no radio….no cell…no anything in the middle of nowhere….trying to wake up and enjoy the black morning.

What!!!!oh no I see red lights!!!! can I stop in time… my load is to heavy……swerve around the truck and stop beside him wondering why the heck he stopped ….and was just in time to notice all the Buffalo crossing the road not 3 feet in front of me!!….and then thinking they really do blend in when its dark! As we watch them cross I admired their majestic beauty and I acknowledge that this will be the last time I watch them in their natural habitat, all the while using this time to calm my nerves as I realize I almost killed us!…NEED CAFFEINE!….well maybe not I did just have pretty good reflexes!
Still 2 hours till first pit stop…oh well this was my brains kick start…..I think my brain will work just fine now! ha ha

10:00 am sun is finally up and I think I can smell the coffee from here!…girls have been watching movies and listening to music my oldest is full of chatter and excitement ….and I see it …I smell the coffee I’m almost certain now ..ha ha…we stop get some breakfast and we will need to walk the dog …not the same dog we came with Buster Brown my Aussie passed away last January ….this is my partners new dog Bella a black Lab/husky mix….and she is just a young pup only 1 year and loves to play her favorite games like Eat Mom’s books…and her absolutely favorite game of Catch….but let me explain her rules….

Bella’s Catch Rules:

  • 1: charge through the wall of humans before they get the catch of the leash attached!
  • 2: Run…Run…Run…before said humans can catch you!
  • 3: when You get board Run…Run…Run….really close to said humans and pretend your going to let them catch you!
  • 4: Then Run…Run…Run…away while barking “Run…Run…Run…Catch Me if you CAN!”!
  • 5: and Repeat over and over and over….. until tired!

I must say that however much she loves playing Eat Moms Books she did not get to play that game on this day …however I do believe she did become an expert at Bella’s catch!

almost 4 hours later a raw steak from the restaurant, her favorite snack (an apple)and several almost dives into the Mackenzie River to her death we have 3 happy children a tired puppy and two exhausted parents we head to the ferry crossing for the last time across the River.

so after our excursion with the dog I’m feeling good my partner said he had a bad feeling that something was going to happen when we left this morning so I’m thinking almost losing the dog is the bad feeling all taken care of. Smooth sailing from here on out. Right….right!

guess next stop will have to be High Level because the day is more than half gone and we have to take the youngest trick or treating…off to High Level.

What a long day 1 its been ….15 km out of high level I’m getting excited ..one coffee is not enough and I’m getting hungry.
My oldest would like the pillow I have my arm resting on … throw my phone on the dash lift my arm up and she grabs the pillow as I look over and watch her place her head on the window I look back at the road …..and that’s when I felt it …..a light tug in the back…..

The next thing I know the boat is dragging me into the ditch …..I turned my wheel to try to get it so I can drive back out and not flip and kill us …all the sleeping bags and blankets fall in on my little girl in the back and then we come to a stop with snow spraying up as we get buried from the snow that was dropped the night before! But we are up right and facing the road and the boat almost beside me. My youngest looks up and said why’d we stop? what happened ? why did the stuff fall? and lastly Moomm my movies not over!…

Now I open my door and get out into the knee-high snow to asses the damage and have a break down with out the girls noticing!….my son noticed what happened and my partner stops and pulls over and comes over to start his angry montage at me…..however I don’t know what he was saying, I wasn’t really listening.
I was thanking all the powers that be and the love that keeps me sane that we are all unharmed and looks like undamaged!

within a few min a good Samaritan pulls over to try to pull me out and hooks his chain on my tranny line instead of something solid like the frame …but second time is a charm and we chug along to Canadian tire to get it fixed ….so not completely undamaged now.(Hmmm…Tranny….didn’t I have tranny issues with the U-HAUL on day 1 when we moved TO Yellowknife?…sounds familiar )

looks like we will be staying an extra day in High level! We head to the motel I unload…order dinner
Lets go trick or treating …..partner says I’m grounded….OK you go out in -35 and me and the teens are going swimming then ….see you when you get back!

We are all alive and safe I’m going to remove my stress in the hot tub! (wonder if this one’s a time machine!)

Tomorrow is a New Day!

This is how My Life Becomes me! ūüôā

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Thanks for Giving

In¬†the tradition of giving thanks to those around us on this day I would like to share some of the things I¬†am thankful for…..

  • I am thankful for¬†my mother and father for giving me all they could to help me grow into the women and mother that I am.
  • I am thankful for my partner who has given me 3 of the most beautiful children in the world.
  • I am thankful¬†that my oldest girl has spirit and spunk¬†and the courage to be who she wants to be.
  • I am thankful¬†that my middle child¬†is¬†finding¬†the confidence to become what ever he wishes as he grows in to the man he so wants to become.
  • I am thankful for my youngest for having the perfect blend of spirit and confidence and courage to become the wonderful adult¬†that I know¬†she will become.
  • I am thankful for my¬† family and friends who have stuck by me through all my¬†ups and downs throughout¬†the years.
  • I am thankful that my partners dog may have finely stopped eating my books.
  • I am thankful for being able to make money doing what I enjoy.
  • I am thankful for lessons learned….and lessons that are still to be learned to allow me to grow.
  • I am thankful to those people who have been instrumental in¬†helping me grow over the past year.
  • I am thankful for my sweater¬†that is keeping me warm today as¬†I watch the first snow fall of the year.
  • I am thankful for the pickle ends because they are my favorite when eaten with cheese.
  • I¬†am thankful for the¬†ability to see and¬†appreciate all that I am thankful for.
  • I am thankful for you …..because you chose to stop and read what I have to say.

there are so many other things to be grateful for but I am in the middle of preparing turkey dinner so these are the ones that I will say for now.

I belive that there is always something to be thankful for no matter how rough the road…. you just have to look and once you focus on those little things the bumps in the road seem to fill them selves.

so what are you Thankful for this year?….you don’t have to share them with me if you don’t want to ….but you need to find them and appreciate them for your self because even the little things matter…..when you find all the little things and put them all together they become big things…..don’t you think.

so Thanks for giving to me…….thanks for giving to others…….thanks for giving even just a little of your selves.

and this is how…. My Life Becomes Me!

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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The crazy Mom…..

Glass marbles

Image by asirap via Flickr

  • The crazy Mom……..
  • I think this is me ……..
  • The Crazy Mom……
  • where will she be…
  • The Crazy Mom….
  • That’s right you know who you are….
  • The crazy Mom that’s Me….
so I’m Thinking a little out side to box tonight,I was just remembering several occasions when I became the crazy mom…..
On this particular morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed…..and on this morning I decided that I had enough once again of my children and my partner’s less than tidy habits….because once again this was my one day off and no one tidied up the house on their day off because no one was responsible for telling them to clean up after them selves but me and since I worked on Saturdays nothing ever gets done until I do it on Sundays….
so on this Sunday I must have been P.M.Sing…haha…because I went to that other place……The Crazy MOM place …haha…it all started with the marbles…..and not the ones from my head….haha……I stepped on a marble….and as I am yelling at the children to clean up their things I am picking up the marbles that are all scattered on the living room floor and placing them in the tin that they belong in ……Then it happens…….

I pick up the tin and as I do they all scatter from fear of the repercussions for being in my way and under my feet…..the bottom of the tin was not attached!!!!…….so I glared at the children and my partner….because this was all they’re fault of course……and all three children scatter to pick up marbles……once again not the ones from my head…..so I once again pick up the tin and there it goes again marbles everywhere…..I’m telling you these marbles are really getting to me so for the third time we start picking up the marbles now by this time everyone has become very quiet because they all know ….I’ve made it quite clear that I’m cranky and p.m.sing and haven’t had my morning coffee……so for the last time I pick up that darn tin and wouldn’t you know it …….they all scatter in fear….haha….and that is when I started giggling ….and then the laughter started….and I realized that Crazy Mom will not keep her marbles until she calms down!!!!!!!……….

Of course I was then able to hold on to the bottom of the tin collected my marbles and had my coffee ūüėõ

I wrote this to remind myself because I’m feeling like The Crazy Mom is trying to come out and I thought I would remind myself what happens when she is unleashed…….to avoid losing my marbles!!!!!…..haha

This is How life Becomes Me…… ūüôā

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2011 in Change, Choices, life, week post 2011

 

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Favorite Sounds

Happiness

Image via Wikipedia

What are my favorite sounds? ……

You would think this would be a simple question wouldn’t you …….but I look at this question and hear so many sounds and wonder which ones are my favorite?

  • The sound of the birds chirping at 4 in the morning …
  • The sound of rain hitting a steel roof….
  • The sound of a thunderstorm…..
  • The sound of Ravens cooing….
  • The sound of silence….
  • The sound of the one you love sleeping next to you ….
  • The sound of beautiful music…..

I could go on and on about my favorite sounds….

I think MY one sound I love to hear more than others is the sound of a baby’s laugh…..

Isn’t it the most beautiful sound in the world? When you hear a baby laugh it put’s a smile on everyone’s face who hears it ……I know it puts one on my face every time….. it makes my heart smile…..haha

I remember I had read somewhere that a child should laugh at least 1000 times each and everyday so I as a young new mom had made this my goal ….. my baby was going to laugh and laugh lots… 1000 times a day (wasn’t sure how I was going to count them though) but that was what I was going to do ……. My mother-in-law told me once (only once) that I was spoiling my baby. I on the other hand explained to her how I did not believe that you can spoil children with love….I would also like to note that when my partner and I think back on our time at home with our first-born I remember my first baby girl as the perfect baby that she was …she was happy all the time and laughing/smiling and never cried and yet when I went back to work and my partner had to stay home with her he remembers crying and lots of it for the six months he was home with her ….huh!!…imagen…. just an observation on my part of course …haha…….and to this day I have never smelled one bit of spoiling on any of my children…haha

Now when I look back at my 3rd child however….that laughter is something that I had taken for granted with the first two…Those of you who have had a child with colic will truly understand how beautiful the sound of laughter is ….I’m not trying to take away the enjoyment from those of you who have not had the wonderful luxury of having such a child, so that you could really learn and appreciate the things that you took for granted before you had such a child like laughter and sleep and sanity…… I think back and remember the frustration during those 9 months of HELL! …..and then realize that if I had never lived through that pain and anguish of listening to my child cry 24/7 …and the feeling of how I couldn’t fix what ever it is that was making her cry….that I was scared (and this was my 3rd child ….I should know what I’m doing by now!!!) that I was going absolutely crazy and may lose my mind at any given moment !!!… Without all that I may never have been able to appreciate the beauty of that baby’s laugh the way I do now …lol..

I remember so well the precise moment it happened….when I fell in love with my baby’s laugh …..I was sitting in my rocking chair my baby girl in my lap with her back to me ,I was rubbing her back trying to burp her after nursing and I leaned down and gave her a “zerbert” as Bill Cosby used to call it …haha…which is something that I had tried many times before because my 2 older children had loved it (and still do) and for what ever reason that I have never understood this time she finely laughed …..And I cried!!…..I’m sure that if anyone looking in the window probably thought I had finely lost my mind …haha… All because she laughed for the very first time and it was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard..That was the sound that I had been missing in my life…

To this day when I hear a baby laugh it always brings me back to that day and that moment…..

I think back now…. if I had been able to see the importance of what I was learning during that time it may have made it easer to bear ….but then again maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had? Maybe I wouldn’t see the things the way I do now?

This road I’m traveling has definitely had its share of pot holes …and slowly I’m filling each and every one of them as I learn what they need to be filled with …because each one has been made with something different….

And this is how My Life Becomes Me.

 
 

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Patience is a Virtue

Patience is a Virtue……

Don’t you agree?

I think that patience is something that you have either been born with or you just don’t have any….. Although I do believe that it¬†is possible to learn.The one difference between being born with it and learning to have it is how you act while you’re using it.

using patience¬†if you’re not born with it¬†would be¬†very taxing I think,at least much more taxing then if¬†your born with it ….. I truly do believe I have lots of patience ….I think I am one of the most patient person¬†I know…..well maybe not I don’t¬†really know what others have to deal with behind closed doors now do I ….but either way I still think I have lots of patience …lol…

Of course there are always things that tax us to no end and no matter what we do or how hard we try we just don’t have patience for!

So¬†I¬†asked my kids what they thought it was that I have no patience for and I really didn’t get the answer I expected…haha…they answerd with …..”you have no¬†patience¬†for when dad yells at you because you always snap right back!!”…. their right you know that is the¬†number one thing that I really have no patience with and yet my partner and I have just celebrated our 15th anaversery…huh!!

so do¬†I have patience for this or not? The way I behave as soon as it happens is by snapping right back which¬†does not show much patience …..I really do not like being yelled at! but on the other hand I have dealt with it for the last 15 years… so what would¬†YOU¬†say¬†that is….Patience or not?

I think that one thing that I have no patience for is my 7-year-old not getting dressed for school in the morning¬†it takes every bit of self-restraint I have to not lose my mind in the morning …..and most times I give in and dress her my self because It’s just that much easer¬†and if I don’t then she will sit in her bed till¬†it’s time to get her coat on. I don’t think I have much patience¬†for that especially in the morning because I’m sooo not a morning person …lol

A third and last thing that I do not have patience for is¬†when I’m¬†doing my workout I need to be¬†alone …complete silence so I can get in my workout zone the smallest disturbance really really bothers me …I don’t know why but it does and how I deal with it is by getting up at 5:30 in the morning before anyone else does so I¬†am able to do it alone¬†….I thought it was a good way to deal with it …my¬†partner on the other hand now gets up at 5:30 to walk the dog because he says the alarm wakes him up and I’m sorry to say I havent figured out how I’m going to deal with that hitch yet …lol…guess I could get up at 4:30 instead ….haha¬†…..and no his walk does not last as long as my work out….lol

oh well Patience is a Virtue and I will keep ¬†working on it and maybe one day¬†these things will just¬†slide over the shoulders…what do you think? can I do it ?

it’s a work in progress¬†and this is how Life Becomes Me!

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2011 in Change, Choices, life, week post 2011

 

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