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Inspiration

Inspiration

I have not been inspired to write in a very long time …mainly because I have been using my creativity for other things ….like work ūüôā
Today however I have been inspired by my son.
I was watching my sons soccer game this afternoon and a wave of emotions overcame me, so much so that I was brought to tears …(which I wiped away really really fast!!…I could hear my oldest saying are you crying? Your such a sap mom!)…..haha….ya well I’m a mom!!

What brought this on …I am not sure maybe guilt about only being able to watch the last game of 4 these past 2 days or maybe because his father had the opportunity to watch all his games but chose not to….and I felt a little green with envy that I didn’t have that opportunity….. and knowing that he had been at this soccer field all day and not knowing if his dad had made sure he had food and water for the day because he had spent the week with him and of course partly because I have missed him …..
With all these thoughts going through my head ….I’m watching an amazing game and my son is doing an amazing job at defending his team, I was informed that he has already won MVP and as I watch I hear him apologize to a player on the other team for shoving him to hard….my heart as his mother swells just a little knowing how I have tried to teach him compassion and respect for others and that my 14 year old sons favourite pastime is to show me how little of those qualities he has (but as his mom I know better)…haha….and MY SON the one that I have always known and the side he tries to hide from me shows up and I know in the end I’ve done good…I’ve done something right along my road of wrongs….it was my AHA! moment
Of the day …possibly the week ….but it was there ….I saw it an I am proud…..because it’s not about how good his grades are or how good he is at sports …..it’s about how good he makes others feel! Today my heart was full ūüėÄ

And that is how My Life Becomes ME! xo

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Posted by on July 26, 2014 in life, Uncategorized

 

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Oh Canada…..Day 2

Sometimes I can think of really witty things to keep this going sometimes not so much….haha

Day 2…….I think day 2 wanted to give day one a run for her money!!

Wake up feeling down about the accident…..go for breakfast and relax while we wait for the Jeep to be fixed…I take the kids to the pool again while my partner goes out and tries to fix the lights on his truck and now the lights on the boat.
it’s freezing outside (-)something ridiculous I go out to see if I can help with anything….mention he needs to eat, so he says he will go out to check on the jeep and pick up food on the way back.

He decided to take our dog Bella with him to get her out of the room…..and yes this is the same dog that almost dove to her death in the Mackenzie river the day before, about an hour later my phone rings and I see that it’s my partner…I’m excited maybe the jeep is ready and we can head out today!
I pick up and he starts yelling at me to bring him the truck keys now…..I have to walk to the A&W because the dog has locked him out of the Truck and the Truck is running!…..HAHA….OK he is not finding this so funny so I tell the kids I’ll be back in about 30 min….with food.
I start walking in (-)ridiculous temp to unlock the truck doors….I arrive and he is yelling at the dog to stop jumping around….our food is getting destroyed….and he wonders why the dog doesn’t care….I’m just thinking that this is so not going to make this day any better and hopefully the jeep will be ready soon…..

Nope…..looks like we are staying another night and so far day 2 was not all that great!…..however it did not win over day one I think!
kids are quiet and not bickering and my Partner looks like he is about to blow his top….I try to make light of everything and crack some jokes but no one has a sense of humor today….

New tranny line new day….Jeep will be ready in the morning.
Day 3 here we come!

This is how My Life Becomes Me….

 
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Posted by on November 4, 2013 in Change, Travel

 

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OK Canada…Ready….Set….Go!!

I Figured I should start at the beginning….So I will start with the day My partner decided we could come home for good which is something I truly never believed he would agree to any time soon, and that explained my surprise and why I will never forget that day he made that choice.

He walked into my office¬†in August¬†with a purpose in his walk looked at me an said ” If were going to move it has to be before winter hits…give your notice”

REALLY?…. ok….this is really going to happen ….I waited 2 weeks just to be sure …asked again if we were really doing this, really going home just to be sure

and then gave my 2 months notice…yes 2months…. I¬†wanted to make sure all my orders were complete so the fool who was going to be my replacement wasn’t going to have to deal with my orders because he would have enough headaches with all the work that would pile up on him in a matter of seconds!……I loved my Job but I definitely was not going to miss the stress that came with it. one of my partners issues with my job is he could never understand why I cared so much ….why I couldn’t just give 2 weeks just like everyone else.

my job is part of who I am I could never leave unfinished business to drop on someone else’s lap because then it becomes a mess for someone else to clean up ….and that¬†just isn’t who I am.

so there it is with tears in my eyes (I loved my job and the people I worked for ) I gave my notice went home told my partner¬†….now its time to start packing….start looking for jobs…start looking for a new place to live….and low and behold start looking at my partner in a new way…he is really… really angry now….What… Why?

Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize you didn’t mean it ….I¬†hadn’t ¬†realized you didn’t think I would quit my job…..and there it is his signature move get me all excited and then suck the fun out of it!…. some times he is so infuriating!…..but the wheels¬†are in motion¬†and the process has started….guess he shouldn’t have said let’s go¬†home if he didn’t really mean it( I even asked again after I wrote my resignation letter and passed¬†it to him to read it)¬†….so now¬†¬†let’s get on with it ….

my notice is in and¬†WE ARE GOING HOME….4 years is a long time when all your family and friends are on the other side of¬†Canada….

I’ve started packing…throwing things out….and looking for work…looking for a new home….last day of work…ok …I’m tired…we want to leave no later than Oct.31st…before the snow and cold really hit!…..While I’m getting ready for the big move …what’s going on with the rest ¬†of the family…well lets see.

My oldest is already packed. Was packed two weeks after we told her…as she says “can’t wait to leave this place!”

My Middle child …not so happy and seeing the sour look on his fathers face is SO NOT HELPING!…..

My youngest says she has mixed feelings….she is sick of the cold but will miss her best friend….but I bribed her with letting her have a cat if the new place is bigger ….I know ..I bribed her to my side..haha¬†¬†….and my partner ? what is he doing during all this …..don’t really know he isn’t talking to me unless its to yell…….and his ability in never answering question’s I ask is really showing…..

However he has informed me that we are not renting a truck or anything for that matter and I can only bring what will fit in the back of our pick up….the jeep…our little trailer and the boat….everything else must stay and we will buy new when we get home….new furniture WOO HOO!

Job interviews lined up…check!…..new home….ugh! need job first they say! …..that’s ok I tell my partner to ask his mom if¬†we can¬†stay with her till we find a place …she’ll be¬†leaving for¬†Florida any ways and her place will be empty…..free house sitter!

Now it’s our last night everything is packed….Halloween costume …check!…next stop Alberta Small town of¬†Manning…should be there¬†just¬†in time for trick or treating!….the youngest …she’s nine….. it’s in line with Birthdays and Christmas as her most important days of the year!…¬†haha…

To wrap this up in¬†a nice little bow…..my partner regrets¬†deciding to move home …but¬†has accepted the fact that its happening….and is still learning to deal with how he feels¬†about it …but has decided to not share these¬†feelings with me other than¬†show anger…..which fuels my 12-year-old¬†sons anger …..which causes anxiety in my 15-year-old¬†girl….and my 9-year-old just doesn’t want to miss¬†Halloween…..and really wants a new cat… since the family cat died 2 years ago after 18 beautiful years with me….so I’m thinking there will be lots¬†of growing pains with this move back home since they have already started…haha

But if we stay on¬†schedule we’ll be¬†back in Hamilton by¬†November 5th ….and not the 2 weeks it took the first time …..

I’m taking all the anger and stress being thrown at me¬†from everyone else and taking lots of deep breaths because once we are home life will go on and being back around family and friends…regular routines again everything will work out fine…..and everyone will adjust.

I’m also thinking life has been bumpy enough the last 2¬†months and¬†that¬†this trip should be smooth sailing……

You know because¬†moves like that don’t happen twice…Right?

And this is how My Life Becomes Me ūüôā

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Working Vacation…..nothing better!

I recently¬†went¬†away on a working vacation….my boss sent me to Ontario¬†for a convention and some upgrading on a computer program I use at work ….I call it a working vacation¬†because¬†it was for work ..I call it a vacation because it¬†was in Ontario and that is where all my family is from.

I havent been home in¬†2 years and I¬†took full advantage of my trip¬†back…and now that I have come¬†back to reality here in the Northwest¬†territories I realized that I really missed my children I had never been away from them for so long I was gone for a week… 8 nights boy is that a long time for me, but it was a well deserved¬†vacation from the reality of my regular life.

I had an amazing time with my friends and family I feel even more homesick now that I have returned. This probably was not what my boss had intended when he sent me…lol

I was¬†busy every night so it wasn’t until I got back here that I realised how much I missed them .My youngest was not very happy about my leaving and thought she would punish me for going by being miserable¬†the morning I left and then¬†she decided to¬†not talk to me¬†on the phone the entire time I was¬†away,I don’t think she realised that she was punishing herself as well¬†as me with that …since I¬†returned home on Saturday she hadn’t left my side till I shipped her off to school this morning. Did I say anything about how I felt hurt about her not talking to me all week …No!…I think that would have been just punishing her something that she didn’t really understand so¬†I just hugged her told her I missed her and tried not to trip over her as I went along my day and asked her to help me with everything..haha..

Now that Mommy’s¬†back home and things are back to normal… in her mind all is right with the world again..¬† ūüôā

some days I wish I was 7 again ..haha..because that world is simple and my life is not …¬† ūüôā

How I keep Changing…. feeding my soul and my Caterpillar is becoming a Butterfly

and how My Life Becomes Me ……

 

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Moments Like this…..

I would Just like to share with the world what it is that makes being a Mom all worth while ….

I recently had a birthday and while I was at work my 3 Beautiful children were hard at work making home-made¬†cards for me …Because they are my favorite ,if you have put thought and effort¬†into something to me that is the most important thing… to me that means you care…..and all 3 cards were just like them they truly showed their individual personalities….they are keepers…lol

Now on top of these beautiful cards they very carefully¬†searched¬†up a cake recipe on-line and baked me a cake….From scratch mind you …..I have 2 boxes of cake mix in my cupboard¬†and they did not use them ….they topped the cake with writing icing in my 2 favourite colours Blue and Yellow….it was beautiful….I don’t like icing so the criss cross of little skinny lines was perfection for me

But MY moment the one that brings the water works to my eyes¬†( I know those of you who know me know that I am an emotional waterworks but those emotions are what makes you feel alive) is when my Oldest told me that her father had called and told her that she should make me a cake, with a great big smile on her face she tells me that she had already done it!!! at that moment¬†her¬†confidence ,her pride just shone through,that is what it’s all about¬†¬†

and¬†That is how Life Becomes ME……

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2011 in life

 

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