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Day 1…..The Departure

Loaded and ready to go!……I however am a coffee addict….an addiction I acknowledge and accept because it’s my last crutch, I only drink alcohol maybe twice a year and I quit smoking 9 years this coming September…and well I like my coffee and I’m OK with not being able to function without it…however our Tim Horton in town does not open till 7 am and my partner will not wait for it to open so my brain can start to function …so away we go!!

6:45 am October 31st 2012 The kids are loaded up its (-20 something)…My partner ,son and dog are in the pick-up. The girls and the EVERYTHING else is in the Jeep with me…the girls can’t even touch the ground with their feet we are so jammed packed…I’m thinking we are a little to jam-packed but I have elbow room and all the sleeping bags and blankets are keeping everything hard from hurting us if anything were to start to fall so all is good.

so off we go as we drive out-of-town and I stare longingly at Tim’s thinking I can make it the 3.5 hours to fort providence to fill up on fuel of all kinds….my brain can work ..I know it can …it’s worth the wait if it means getting a good start home!

I spend the next x amount of hours using up the battery on my iPod listing to music because no radio….no cell…no anything in the middle of nowhere….trying to wake up and enjoy the black morning.

What!!!!oh no I see red lights!!!! can I stop in time… my load is to heavy……swerve around the truck and stop beside him wondering why the heck he stopped ….and was just in time to notice all the Buffalo crossing the road not 3 feet in front of me!!….and then thinking they really do blend in when its dark! As we watch them cross I admired their majestic beauty and I acknowledge that this will be the last time I watch them in their natural habitat, all the while using this time to calm my nerves as I realize I almost killed us!…NEED CAFFEINE!….well maybe not I did just have pretty good reflexes!
Still 2 hours till first pit stop…oh well this was my brains kick start…..I think my brain will work just fine now! ha ha

10:00 am sun is finally up and I think I can smell the coffee from here!…girls have been watching movies and listening to music my oldest is full of chatter and excitement ….and I see it …I smell the coffee I’m almost certain now ..ha ha…we stop get some breakfast and we will need to walk the dog …not the same dog we came with Buster Brown my Aussie passed away last January ….this is my partners new dog Bella a black Lab/husky mix….and she is just a young pup only 1 year and loves to play her favorite games like Eat Mom’s books…and her absolutely favorite game of Catch….but let me explain her rules….

Bella’s Catch Rules:

  • 1: charge through the wall of humans before they get the catch of the leash attached!
  • 2: Run…Run…Run…before said humans can catch you!
  • 3: when You get board Run…Run…Run….really close to said humans and pretend your going to let them catch you!
  • 4: Then Run…Run…Run…away while barking “Run…Run…Run…Catch Me if you CAN!”!
  • 5: and Repeat over and over and over….. until tired!

I must say that however much she loves playing Eat Moms Books she did not get to play that game on this day …however I do believe she did become an expert at Bella’s catch!

almost 4 hours later a raw steak from the restaurant, her favorite snack (an apple)and several almost dives into the Mackenzie River to her death we have 3 happy children a tired puppy and two exhausted parents we head to the ferry crossing for the last time across the River.

so after our excursion with the dog I’m feeling good my partner said he had a bad feeling that something was going to happen when we left this morning so I’m thinking almost losing the dog is the bad feeling all taken care of. Smooth sailing from here on out. Right….right!

guess next stop will have to be High Level because the day is more than half gone and we have to take the youngest trick or treating…off to High Level.

What a long day 1 its been ….15 km out of high level I’m getting excited ..one coffee is not enough and I’m getting hungry.
My oldest would like the pillow I have my arm resting on … throw my phone on the dash lift my arm up and she grabs the pillow as I look over and watch her place her head on the window I look back at the road …..and that’s when I felt it …..a light tug in the back…..

The next thing I know the boat is dragging me into the ditch …..I turned my wheel to try to get it so I can drive back out and not flip and kill us …all the sleeping bags and blankets fall in on my little girl in the back and then we come to a stop with snow spraying up as we get buried from the snow that was dropped the night before! But we are up right and facing the road and the boat almost beside me. My youngest looks up and said why’d we stop? what happened ? why did the stuff fall? and lastly Moomm my movies not over!…

Now I open my door and get out into the knee-high snow to asses the damage and have a break down with out the girls noticing!….my son noticed what happened and my partner stops and pulls over and comes over to start his angry montage at me…..however I don’t know what he was saying, I wasn’t really listening.
I was thanking all the powers that be and the love that keeps me sane that we are all unharmed and looks like undamaged!

within a few min a good Samaritan pulls over to try to pull me out and hooks his chain on my tranny line instead of something solid like the frame …but second time is a charm and we chug along to Canadian tire to get it fixed ….so not completely undamaged now.(Hmmm…Tranny….didn’t I have tranny issues with the U-HAUL on day 1 when we moved TO Yellowknife?…sounds familiar )

looks like we will be staying an extra day in High level! We head to the motel I unload…order dinner
Lets go trick or treating …..partner says I’m grounded….OK you go out in -35 and me and the teens are going swimming then ….see you when you get back!

We are all alive and safe I’m going to remove my stress in the hot tub! (wonder if this one’s a time machine!)

Tomorrow is a New Day!

This is how My Life Becomes me! ūüôā

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Remember to smile……Because you can!

What makes you smile like nothing else?
I think this is an amazing question don’t you?
I’ve sat on this question for a while now because I wasn’t sure how to answer it, I had so many answers and couldn’t decide which one of the many things that make me smile actually make me smile like nothing else can…..

  • Many things can make me smile, some just little things like laying down to the smell of freshly cleaned sheets right out of the dryer…..
  • The first bite of my favorite dish (when I get it right)¬† haha……
  • When¬†a great song comes on the radio……
  • Watching my kids accomplish¬†something they have worked on…..
  • Seeing the look on my children’s face Christmas Morning because Santa came…..

After I thought about all the things that make me smile ……I realized the one thing that makes me smile like nothing else is the feeling of LOVE …..

The love from another given freely with nothing to gain …..that feeling that you get when you can feel the others love for¬†no other reason than for who you are …….The love you give to another because they are worth it …That is what makes me smile like nothing else can …..

My 8-year-old reminded me of this yesterday morning when she saw that after asking for 3 years in a row for a stuffed Jaguar teddy…..Santa finely came through and although none of his elves could find one anywhere nor could they make one …..Santa hunted down some¬†material¬†that looked as much like a Jaguar as he could and made one just for her …..and it has not left her side since……even though it is the most pitiful looking cat I have ever seen …haha…it probably should have been left to the elves….haha…But Santa worked very long hours on this cat I’m positive of that…..and when she saw it…….. that little spark that was starting to fade came back in her eyes and her belief in Santa was restored¬†….which moved my 2 older children and the magic of the real meaning of Christmas was back ……because its all about the love not the presents…..it’s all about the little things……

and I get the privilege of seeing that kind of love everyday….and every time my children hug me …..every time my¬†I hear my children¬†laugh ……every time I see Dorito the Jag(his new name) haha….get squeezed with love ( I sure hope he makes it through the year…..good thing Mom owns a sewing kit…..haha….

Dorito the Jaguar

This is how My life Becomes Me…..

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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FRIENDSHIP

Describe your BEST FRIEND from Childhood…..what did you do together?……this is¬†today’s¬†question……I think I love this question.

Friendship……. friends are the ships that keep you¬†afloat when the holes are too big and the waves too high…

Childhood friends are friends that you make and play with when you are a child. Some grow with those friends and some grow away from those friends….some move away …..some move back ……and some friends never change ……

I as a child moved many times so it was not easy making friends…The longest I¬†lived¬†in one home was 3 years…..I became an expert at being the new kid.¬†I have counted the amount of times I have moved and my number is 37 times so far …..and well I’m 37 years old so you can average that out to once per year ..haha…so as a child I was always the one that moved away ….but I have also been the one to move back ….I have grown away …and have also grown with…….. some of the most amazing friends …..

I consider myself a lucky friend …..for I do not have many people I call friends but the few I do I cherish deeply….I have one friend that I would call my childhood friend …..I met her when I was in the 6th grade…..I was the new kid of course…and she was the one that moved back….we were brought together by an old friend of hers all the way back from¬†kindergarten… (OK¬†we were 11-12..haha ) who was also a new friend for me….That year was a tough one …haha…puberty starts kicking in around that age and I was known to be a little bossy back then ..haha…their were some fights and some making up and the year ended with her and I becoming the best of friends and ready to conquer Middle School…

We spent that first summer going for bike rides all around the city,going swimming,¬†pick nicks in the¬†cemetery…I know it’s a little morbid but it was quiet and right on the lake ..haha..we enjoyed it….¬†we also pick nicked in the royal botanical gardens so not all morbid…haha….we even got lost and found together…

I moved halfway through the next year to the other side of the city but we had a good foundation and I got my first phone so we still talked and hung out¬†every once in a while …..but at the end of grade 7 I moved to Quebec I remember feeling like I lost my best friend…haha…ok well I was losing my best friend ….but she was a dedicated friend and¬†promised¬†to¬†¬†write and so in the following year I wrote letters to my two best friends that I left in Ontario….I didn’t mail very many letters but I wrote many…haha that year was also the year that my parents divorced and my father moved back to¬†Ontario so when I would go see him I would call my friend up and we would trade shoe boxes of letters hang out and take them back with me….

Now life works in mysterious ways sometimes….The year I was starting High School I moved in with my father so back to Ontario I went I was¬†so¬†excited to move back but we moved to a new part of town and I was a little sad and scared to be starting High School by my self and not knowing any one ….I called my childhood friend and her¬†grandmother¬†tells me they have moved and she gives me her new # …… I found her just a few¬†blocks away from my new home…..And for the first time in my life I would not be starting a new school by my self ..haha….this was going to be a good year….

we were teens… we grew…we learned ….we got in trouble …. our bond got stronger we made new friends…but still we were close and nothing would¬†separate¬†us….not even BOYS…haha ….but once again I moved to another city and we slowly grew apart she hung out with people I didn’t know and slowly we grew apart but always talked on the phone and never forgot a birthday …..over the years we went our¬†separate ways…She continued school and I started a family but we have always made the effort to stay in touch even when life worked against us …

I think that over the years if she had not made as much of an effort as she did we may not still be friends and I thank her for that because if she hadn’t I would have missed out on the wonderful women, Friend,and Mother she has become (sniff)….haha…I still don’t see her much nor do I talk to her often (I do live on the other side of the country)but I cherish every moment I do….there is a bond between us that I will cherish till the end of time… I do think she is the better friend there¬†have been times that I feel like I wasn’t there for her when I should have been but I think she knows that I wish I could have been the friend that she needed and I always sent her all my love.

OK I started writing thinking I would talk about all the wonderful friends I have but it became all about one ….haha….but I do have a few more that I¬†cherish¬†as much as her that I want to talk about….

one is my Sister she truly is one of my best friends and wishes nothing but the best for me…. I can trust her and she will always be there for me no matter what …even if she does THINK she knows better ….haha… ūüėõ

another one is someone who I met in the 9th grade and boy did the four of us get in trouble!!!…haha….and I remember feeling like the other 2’s parents thought my sister and I were the bad influence but I think I¬†kept¬†them¬†reeled¬†in a bit because boy did they get in trouble when I moved away …haha….her and I ¬†grew apart as adults but have¬†recently¬†reconnected and it pleases me because when you have friends like these that you can be your self with it makes the rest of the world look less scary.

now my last childhood friend that I have… I think we are complete¬†opposite’s but for what ever reason we clicked from the first time we met when I was 15 and she stole the last table in Tim¬†Horton’s¬†right from underneath me …haha…she is just one of those people who accepts you for who you are and she is someone who not only do I trust her with all ….but I think she knows all !!!!…..not someone I would ever want upset with me……haha

These four Women …….I would trust with all my¬†secrets….( OK I have to…. I think combined they could hurt me !!!!…..haha…).These four Women I don’t have to trust with all my deep dark secrets because they were there and know them all ……and do you know why they were there ……

Because Friendships……. are the ships that keep you¬†afloat when the holes are too big and the waves too high that’s why ……

They are the leaves that feed this¬†Caterpillar to help me morph into my Butterfly….

And this is how My Life Becomes Me…….

 
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Posted by on June 29, 2011 in Change, Choices, life, week post 2011

 

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The crazy Mom…..

Glass marbles

Image by asirap via Flickr

  • The crazy Mom……..
  • I think this is me ……..
  • The Crazy Mom……
  • where will she be…
  • The Crazy Mom….
  • That’s right you know who you are….
  • The crazy Mom that’s Me….
so I’m Thinking a little out side to box tonight,I was just remembering several occasions when I became the crazy mom…..
On this particular morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed…..and on this morning I decided that I had enough once again of my children and my partner’s less than tidy habits….because once again this was my one day off and no one tidied up the house on their day off because no one was responsible for telling them to clean up after them selves but me and since I worked on Saturdays nothing ever gets done until I do it on Sundays….
so on this Sunday I must have been P.M.Sing…haha…because I went to that other place……The Crazy MOM place …haha…it all started with the marbles…..and not the ones from my head….haha……I stepped on a marble….and as I am yelling at the children to clean up their things I am picking up the marbles that are all scattered on the living room floor and placing them in the tin that they belong in ……Then it happens…….

I pick up the tin and as I do they all scatter from fear of the repercussions for being in my way and under my feet…..the bottom of the tin was not attached!!!!…….so I glared at the children and my partner….because this was all they’re fault of course……and all three children scatter to pick up marbles……once again not the ones from my head…..so I once again pick up the tin and there it goes again marbles everywhere…..I’m telling you these marbles are really getting to me so for the third time we start picking up the marbles now by this time everyone has become very quiet because they all know ….I’ve made it quite clear that I’m cranky and p.m.sing and haven’t had my morning coffee……so for the last time I pick up that darn tin and wouldn’t you know it …….they all scatter in fear….haha….and that is when I started giggling ….and then the laughter started….and I realized that Crazy Mom will not keep her marbles until she calms down!!!!!!!……….

Of course I was then able to hold on to the bottom of the tin collected my marbles and had my coffee ūüėõ

I wrote this to remind myself because I’m feeling like The Crazy Mom is trying to come out and I thought I would remind myself what happens when she is unleashed…….to avoid losing my marbles!!!!!…..haha

This is How life Becomes Me…… ūüôā

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2011 in Change, Choices, life, week post 2011

 

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Favorite Sounds

Happiness

Image via Wikipedia

What are my favorite sounds? ……

You would think this would be a simple question wouldn’t you …….but I look at this question and hear so many sounds and wonder which ones are my favorite?

  • The sound of the birds chirping at 4 in the morning …
  • The sound of rain hitting a steel roof….
  • The sound of a thunderstorm…..
  • The sound of Ravens cooing….
  • The sound of silence….
  • The sound of the one you love sleeping next to you ….
  • The sound of beautiful music…..

I could go on and on about my favorite sounds….

I think MY one sound I love to hear more than others is the sound of a baby’s laugh…..

Isn’t it the most beautiful sound in the world? When you hear a baby laugh it put’s a smile on everyone’s face who hears it ……I know it puts one on my face every time….. it makes my heart smile…..haha

I remember I had read somewhere that a child should laugh at least 1000 times each and everyday so I as a young new mom had made this my goal ….. my baby was going to laugh and laugh lots… 1000 times a day (wasn’t sure how I was going to count them though) but that was what I was going to do ……. My mother-in-law told me once (only once) that I was spoiling my baby. I on the other hand explained to her how I did not believe that you can spoil children with love….I would also like to note that when my partner and I think back on our time at home with our first-born I remember my first baby girl as the perfect baby that she was …she was happy all the time and laughing/smiling and never cried and yet when I went back to work and my partner had to stay home with her he remembers crying and lots of it for the six months he was home with her ….huh!!…imagen…. just an observation on my part of course …haha…….and to this day I have never smelled one bit of spoiling on any of my children…haha

Now when I look back at my 3rd child however….that laughter is something that I had taken for granted with the first two…Those of you who have had a child with colic will truly understand how beautiful the sound of laughter is ….I’m not trying to take away the enjoyment from those of you who have not had the wonderful luxury of having such a child, so that you could really learn and appreciate the things that you took for granted before you had such a child like laughter and sleep and sanity…… I think back and remember the frustration during those 9 months of HELL! …..and then realize that if I had never lived through that pain and anguish of listening to my child cry 24/7 …and the feeling of how I couldn’t fix what ever it is that was making her cry….that I was scared (and this was my 3rd child ….I should know what I’m doing by now!!!) that I was going absolutely crazy and may lose my mind at any given moment !!!… Without all that I may never have been able to appreciate the beauty of that baby’s laugh the way I do now …lol..

I remember so well the precise moment it happened….when I fell in love with my baby’s laugh …..I was sitting in my rocking chair my baby girl in my lap with her back to me ,I was rubbing her back trying to burp her after nursing and I leaned down and gave her a “zerbert” as Bill Cosby used to call it …haha…which is something that I had tried many times before because my 2 older children had loved it (and still do) and for what ever reason that I have never understood this time she finely laughed …..And I cried!!…..I’m sure that if anyone looking in the window probably thought I had finely lost my mind …haha… All because she laughed for the very first time and it was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard..That was the sound that I had been missing in my life…

To this day when I hear a baby laugh it always brings me back to that day and that moment…..

I think back now…. if I had been able to see the importance of what I was learning during that time it may have made it easer to bear ….but then again maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had? Maybe I wouldn’t see the things the way I do now?

This road I’m traveling has definitely had its share of pot holes …and slowly I’m filling each and every one of them as I learn what they need to be filled with …because each one has been made with something different….

And this is how My Life Becomes Me.

 
 

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I am MOM hear me Roar

Once you become a mom…….even if you lose your self one day and find your self the next you are and will always be a mom……no matter how much you need that break from that day-to-day life…….and never will there be anything better than being a mom….Being a mom is more than making lunches playing games or teaching them right from wrong or even tucking them in at night …..it’s also about the feelings they can inspire in you from pulling your hair out feelings to catch your breath ah-ha! moments…..boy do I love those moments ūüôā they are the best aren’t they …lol

there are sooo many things children can do to your body and I’m not just talking about stretch marks….lol…and all of them wonderful in their own way all because they wrap their tiny hand around your finger that first time…..it’s amazing how you forget everything else after that moment. being a mom is all about those moments.

One of my most memorial pull your hair and can’t breathe moments was my first-born first day of school….I remember standing at the bus stop and sending her off for that first time and thinking this is it my baby is all grown up …haha… what a thought at the ripe old age of 4 1/2 all grown up…she was so excited she couldn’t wait to start school and to this day she was the most excited out of the 3 of my children.

I remember the tears rolling down my cheeks and her father making fun of me because all I could think about was my fears of her not being on the bus at the end of the day …..I remember having nightmares for a week before school started and in my dream I’m standing there and the doors of the bus open and all the children come off the bus but not my daughter ……I think that for me it was a heart stopping feeling these fears of her not getting off that bus….but I know that they are only the irrational fears of a first time mom so I calm down and start my day at work…..

At the end of the day I stand at the bus stop waiting and there it is that beautiful yellow school bus …and I’m standing there with the video camera ….the doors open …..the kids start piling out ……and there it is My Daughter is NOT on the bus…..my head starts spinning I can’t breathe and all rational thought goes out the window …lol my brain completely stops working now I live in a very small town the bus driver tells me to get on the bus and he will take me back to the school …so I hop on !!!! duh!!! …..for future reference if this ever happens to you DO NOT GET ON THE BUS ……drive yourself it will be much quicker…..the bus driver still had to make the rest of his stops…you know so the rest of those parents out there don’t have heart attacks because their children didn’t come home…lol

remember I lost my mind …haha…..as we pull up to my child’s school I see standing outside the front doors my daughters teacher and there holding her hand is my beautiful little girl….i had never seen such a beautiful sight as the bus driver opens the doors and I step down off the bus I held out my arms with tears rolling down my cheeks and my all grown up little girl runs into my arms and she look at me and says

Mommy YOU get to ride the bus too!!!

and I started laughing so hard…..little did she know the fear I had just gone through all because the school couldn’t remember what bus to put her on….. but to my little girl it was just the coolest thing that her mommy came on the bus to pick her up from school …..

Today I had another one of those moments the kind that I will remember every detail of.

I watched my son he is my middle child (and yes the middle child syndrome is true..lol) in his last indoor soccer game (I live in the Northwest Territories so indoor soccer is what we play for most of the year). I watched on the edge of my seat by the way…..one of the most intense games of the season I thought about how they played back in the beginning and admired how they have really grown as a team….I was proud to watch my son the way he handled him self with every game lost and every game won…..I was impressed by the maturity level of these 9-11 yr olds….they didn’t brag or gloat about the win just so they wouldn’t make the other team feel bad and when they were done my son comes to me and says I don’t think we should have won but the ref wouldn’t listen to us I think the goalie had the ball…..right at that moment was my wow!! moment my son who by the way is very competitive and wont play board games because he hates to lose and if he doesn’t get to play his way will end the game….has just told me that HE doesn’t think that they should have won that the game (which was in overtime) was not over he feels like the other team was cheated out of their shot at the Bronze medal (they were playing for 3rd place)….so there it is…. my wow!! moment… he really gets it !!!!

I am MOM hear me roar…haha……yes these moments that’s what it’s all about.

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2011 in life, Uncategorized

 

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